Acts 9:20-22 NKJV

[20] Immediately, he preached the Christ in the synagogues, that He is the Son of God. [21] Then all who heard were amazed, and said, “Is this not he who destroyed those who called on this name in Jerusalem, and has come here for that purpose, so that he might bring them bound to the chief priests?” [22] But Saul increased all the more in strength and confounded the Jews who dwelt in Damascus, proving that this Jesus is the Christ.

Everyone has a past. Maybe it is a distant, faded memory. For some of us, not so much. Restructuring my life based on my faith in Jesus changed my future, but it did not erase my past. It has taken a lot of time for me to process through that part of me... the parts that I am not proud of.

The enemy wants nothing more than for us to dwell on the things we can not change so that we stay distracted from the future God is creating for us. Old acquaintances will doubt the authenticity of your faith. Skeptical family members may even wonder when the "new" will wear off. If I am being honest, I was hesitant about getting my hopes up because I had never stuck with anything for very long. I kept doing it anyway.

Saul didn't start preaching because everyone believed in him. He wasn't seeking affirmation from his old friends. His new friends (and fellow believers), I'm sure, had some questions and doubts. Saul pressed on.

Jesus does not lead us back to where we were. Our sins were paid for on the cross. When I have those moments of self-doubt and shame, I remind myself that the enemy is the only one pointing me in that direction. Jesus leads us to and provides us our freedom through His mercy, His grace, and His goodness. It's not what we have done. It is about what He did and continues doing.